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GD's Most Dominating Albums Of The 1980's (80-71)

09/09/08 || Global Domination

80. Manilla Road: Crystal logic
^{Released: 1983}

“Crystal Logic”. Sigh. If this album was available in liquid form, I’d be shooting myself full of it right now. I’ve considered grinding copies into fine dust to snort. The more ways I find to experience “Crystal Logic”, the happier I will be.

But what makes “Crystal Logic” a classic? That’s actually not an easy question to answer. Perhaps it is the fact that in a time where most heavy metal bands were busy copying the forerunners of the genre, Mark “The Shark” Shelton and his compatriots were creating something rather off-kilter, something quite unique. Not by intention I think – after all, they had no problem stealing from contemporary bands – but by sheer creative originality. In 1983, nothing sounded quite like “Crystal Logic”, and there really hasn’t been an album since that did. “Lost in Ne-cro-po-lohs!”

-Banesupper

Class6(66) coverage

79. Destruction: Eternal devastation
^{Released: 1986}

When the big three of German thrash are mentioned, Destruction usually gets bottom billing – they weren’t as memorably ugly as Sodom and they couldn’t match the sheer nastiness of Kreator. On that tri-legged beast, Destruction was the like able one, the one that brought the catchy riffs and choruses, the one with the poofiest hair. “Eternal Devastation” is truly the prototypical German thrash album. It’s got fast, catchy riffs. It’s got a dry, crunchy production. It’s got classic broken English lyrics like, “You were born but you don’t know why you’re existing. You are unabled. Why is it you and not me?”. I have no fucking clue what that’s supposed to mean, but fuck all if it doesn’t sound good when you’ve had too much to drink.

-Stephen Fallen

Class6(66) coverage

78. Metal Church: Metal church
^{Released: 1985}

Metal Church is the only American heavy metal band I listen to. This is not to say that other bands are bad, I just can’t be bothered to give them a shot. I got this album from a friend who considered it the best thing since the invention of tits and I immediately and enthusiastically agreed. This is because “Metal Church” is the most metal thing that ever hit my ears. I can already hear you screaming “what about Manowar?”. What about them? Do they have the word “metal” in their band name? Do they have a guitar/cross thing on the cover of any of their albums? Can they play their music as well and as tight as Metal Church? Did they record the best “Highway Star” cover ever? No, they don’t. And the singing of David Wayne is far more interesting than anything Eric Adams can pull off. For me Manowar are the kings of oily muscles and cardboard cutout swords, while Metal Church are the true kings of metal. Now kneel before them, you unworthy cunts!

-Max Von Laibach (ex-staffer/cocksucker)

Class6(66) coverage

77. Fates Warning: No exit
^{Released: 1988}

“No Exit” was the last Fates Warning album be driven by a massive set of metal balls. That’s not to say “Perfect Symmetry” and what followed were bad albums, far from it, but “No Exit” has a thrash edge that was eventually forsaken for more proggy leanings. “No Exit”, a concept album based on a play by snooty French poet Jean Paul-Sartre, is fairly nerdy itself. It has thrashy, mean edge though, one that rears it’s head on more than one occasion. One could harbor some resentment for Fates Warning—without them, we might have been spared the spate of shitty power metal bands clamoring for our disdain and hatred. But, then, how could anyone hate a band that released fucking amazing music like “No Exit”?

-Stephen Fallen

76. Def Leppard: Pyromania
^{Released: 1983}

Before the colossal success of “Hysteria”, there was the mega-success of “Pyromania”. The difference is that the latter is a great hard rock album with commercial appeal whereas the former is a commercial album with some hard rock appeal. Like Mötley Crüe’s “Shout at the Devil” and GNR’s “Appetite for Destruction”, “Pyromania” features a band that wanted to write a great hard rock record for the general public.

“Pyromania” gets half the credit that “Hysteria” does, despite having more hit singles and a drummer with two arms. It’s a terrific record even though it has two songs about rock (which usually suck). “Pyromania” and Quiet Riot’s “Metal Health” are the albums that many point to as immediately paving the way for the popular 80’s hard rock and heavy metal bands that followed. It was a double-edged sword, however, as one of the two spearheading bands of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal (the other being Iron Maiden) was now one of MTV’s sweethearts.

-Hanging Limbs (ex-staffer/cocksucker)

75. DRI: Dealing with it
^{Released: 1985}

Though I personally will always swear by “The Dirty Rotten LP”, there’s no denying that “Dealing with It” is one helluva slab of hardcore thrash. Yes, thrash. Back in the day, thrash meant stuff like this, with blazing fast tempos and riffs up your ass. Municipal Waste will never have shit on this album, and neither will the millions of retro-thrash losers that have spawned in their wake. “Dealing with It” takes DRI’s whirlwind of barre chords, blast beats, and venomous shouts and puts it into some remarkably lucid and complex song structures without sacrificing any intensity whatsoever. Wanna know how Slayer went from “Show No Mercy” to “Reign in Blood”? Listen to this album.

-Seker

74. Danzig: Danzig
^{Released: 1988}

There was a time when the two Glenns were the most satanic figures in all of rock and roll, instead of just two tired old men, who either nag about a divorce or get beaten up backstage by a fucking snowman. The midget was the first to enter the underground scene with Misfits and then Samhain before launching Danzig with the same members as in Samhain and the same badass logo. I’m a huge Danzig fan—I’ve even got a fucking tattoo to prove it—and this one is a true classic. It certainly marked Danzig as a forcefuck to be reckoned with. Everybody has heard the stainless classic “Mother” but this album has more than just one fucking good song, it has ten of them. Their best album according to me will forever be their second release “Lucifuge”. However this one marked the way and it may very well be one of the finest debut albums (if you can call it that) ever written. Evil Elvis sure knew how to rock and roll and that grants him and his steroid comrades a spot at 74.

-Bobby Peru

73. Angel Witch: Angel witch
^{Released: 1980}

Most of earliest NWOBHM bands are long since forgotten, and for good reason. Angel Witch was one of those earliest groups, and while they took a legendary beating in the press in their heyday, they are still remembered fondly by some. And justly so, I might add. Boasting a sound quite symptomatic of the time, it is perhaps not surprising that Angel Witch isn’t as revered today as some of the more persistent acts in the “movement”. But nonetheless, they had their impact on the heavy metal genre – and this debut, complete with a masterful John Martin painting for a cover, is a classic not to be underestimated. And how can you not love that chorus? “You’re an angel witch, yoooou’re an angel witch!”. Brilliant.

-Banesupper

Metallica: ... And justice for all 72. Metallica: … And justice for all
^{Released: 1988}

“… And Justice for All” is probably the most under appreciated ‘tallica album out there. The main dig on the album is the complete lack of bass, as Newsted was mixed out of the album to fuck with him, but the work on the record is so top notch that it makes up for that. You won’t find too many of the Metallica classics here, save for “One” and maybe “Blackened”, but what you will find is Metallica turning down the thrash a bit and focusing on the heavy. James is at his most guttural with the vocals, which complement the chunky riffs of Kirk just fine. The disc also contains my favorite Metallica song ever, “Harvester of Sorrow”, which is the only reason it gets nudged above some of the more popular albums out there. The instrumental ode to Cliff, “To Live is to Die”, is a long and emotional one, and will still come over you like a wave over 20 years later. Lastly, you get “Dyers Eve”, one of the fastest songs Metallica ever put onto an album. Overall, it is a compilation of very diverse material, pulling from all areas of the previous three albums, and gives you the best of all worlds of Metallica pre-“Black” album. A must own for any fan.

-Farlus (extra rad special guest/whore)

Class6(66) coverage

71. Trouble: Psalm 9
^{Released: 1984}

On a list dominated by thrash and power metal, it’s nice to see that we carved out a little space for some classic doom (I’ll dip my head in shame, since I couldn’t shoehorn the excellent St. Vitus debut into this feature). Trouble is the one true heir to the doomy style of Black Sabbath circa “Paranoid”. They’ve released 7 albums in the 24 years since “Psalm 9” was recorded, but they’ve never really changed, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I delight in the simple pleasures of this band, as they are masters of a style that’s long been out of style. Even though Trouble didn’t experimented much, they did keep the spirit of doom alive and helped pave the way for more innovative doom bands like Cathedral.

-Stephen Fallen

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